I asked a group of women what they wanted to hear about when I write my next blog, what should it be about? One lady inquired about coping with the season. I immediately responded that we should take care of ourselves.
In my practice, I’ve found that women in particular, feel guilt or a sense of neglecting others, and shame when they take time to do something for themselves. Delving in, a lot of the guilt and shame comes from other women. Sisters, mothers and “friends” critique us in a way they’ve been judged in their lives when things in their household was not 100% “correct”.
We all know that no one and nothing is perfect, but how we choose to live/raise/run things in our lives is perfect for us. Once we let go of the “gift” of judgment from others, we can successfully navigate our lives and make it ours and not theirs. I wrote an article the other day about goodbyes. This judgement of others and self is definitely a paradigm that deserves to be waved goodbye to. Sometimes we use self talk to doubt ourselves and our accomplishments, however, this too, is something taught or an expectation set by those you trust. At some point we have to trust ourselves and what feels right.
When we take the time to trust and care for ourselves, just as the staff on every airplane directs us to, take care of yourself first so that you are then able to help those around you.
What are some of the guilt-free ways we can take care of ourselves:
- Take a class you’ve been interested in
- Have a weekly date with yourself, by yourself
- Instead of a quick shower, take a long bubble bath
- Hire a Life Coach
- Prepare your favorite meal, and sit down and enjoy it
- Mediate daily
- Date night with a loved one
- Turn off your cellphone
- Meet with your friends, a good old fashioned GNO
- Spa at home
- Sleep in
Whatever it takes to recharge for the week or month, give yourself permission to do it. This is you taking care of you, and you’ll see a difference. Your families, friends and acquaintances will too, because you’re likely to be less stressed and happier. Whether it is you or others judging, once you let it go, you will be a bit less resentful. Those who judge may do so because they just don’t have the capacity to do anything else. If you can’t dump those naysayers, forgive them and turn a blind ear. It doesn’t matter what they say because you are in a better mindset to figure what you have to do in order to run your life the way you want to. Good luck and take care!