When I hear someone discuss how “jelly” they are of someone else, I always stop and wonder…why? Jealousy is a waste of time in my opinion and it does more harm than good. I wonder how many women disparage themselves because they don’t look like the “ideal standard of beauty”? (which was created by select few men). And yes, it goes both ways, but it is usually directed at women. Somehow beauty falls to us, and that’s fine, but we then need to define it. 

I will never be a natural blonde-haired, blue eyed, 5’10 115 lb woman. And who hasn’t heard of the 36-24-36 …And that’s okay. I’m still beautiful as a natural brunette, brown-eyed 5’4, 135 lb woman. Who says I’m not and why would I allow anyone to make me feel less?

Women who meet these man made standards naturally, are usually revered and rewarded with modeling and acting contracts. There is a certain “pretty privilege” that some women seem to have, and we’ve all witnessed it. They seem to naturally be more popular, the crush of most boys, invited to all the parties; “boys want to be with her and girls want to be her.”

Trust me, I know it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and there are problems that go along with the responsibility of being pretty, but that’s another blog for another day.

Some women fall prey to meeting this standard and they go through many alterations to look the way they believe they “should” in order to be happy. What I wish I could tell every woman is to ignore these so-called standards, find what makes you feel special and beautiful. Why not?

One can have regret but have that moment and then let it go. Beating yourself up about something you’ve chosen to do seems unnecessary. A healthier response is to find a win in the situation. What did you learn? How can you help another as a result? Seriously. Stop and think about how you can help another person heal from jealousy, regret and shame. It’s unnecessary.

And can we speak on shame as GOT is about to air its final season .  Again, if you have done something you regret, acknowledge it to yourself, your besties, but let it go. It happened, acknowledge it and get on with your beautiful life. I don’t feel any of theses things, which makes it hard to discuss, but Just know that you are enough, just as you are, you just need to accept that…and be grateful. No shame in that.