I wrote an article a while ago addressing this topic for women http://trustingthetingles.com/my-take-on-five-promises-every-woman-needs-to-make-to-herself/. Several people asked me, “What would your advice be for men?” While I think what I wrote for women can benefit men, too, there are inherent differences between the sexes, therefore, my advice is different. And do know, what I’ve written for men can benefit women as well. Here goes… (I’d love to hear from my male audience about this article).
Often men are quickly labeled as “weak” if they acknowledge or display their sadness or disappointment. The advice men usually receive as they grow up is chin up, real men don’t cry, swallow it, punch it out, and the such. In my opinion, that’s a recipe for disaster and an eventual explosive situation. If you acknowledge your anger/resentment/grief in a healthy way, you can better deal with whatever is affecting your emotions in the moment. It’s okay to emote. You don’t have to share your feelings with the world, but you do need to aware of them. Know who you are, define yourself and live happily.
This is the opposite of what I wrote for women. It’s important to have your heart broken at least once so that you have the experience and won’t take the real (or next) thing for granted when it happens. You don’t want to be caught off guard because you broke someone else’s heart because you didn’t anticipate how much your actions against the relationship would hurt. You don’t want to look back in regret because you didn’t do everything you could to be the best partner to your loved one. When your heart has been broken, I just think you understand this better.
Communication is key in every relationship. People communicate and hear things differently. It’s important to know how to differentiate the way the way you speak to your subordinates vs. the higher ups, your kids vs. your spouse, friends vs. strangers, etc. It’s not a one size fits all situation. There are coaches http://trustingthetingles.com/consultation/ who can help you with this.
Regardless of whether you’re the breadwinner in the family, you’re the captain of the ship, and many people may be relying on you. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else. I liken it to the advice we all receive on the plane just before take-off. The stewardess always advises you, in case of an emergency, to put on your oxygen mask first and then help those around you who may be having trouble. Same rules apply – you’re no good to anyone else if you’re incapacitated . Take care of your mind body and soul. There’s nothing sadder than a man who must depend on others: parents/spouse/Season’s 52 (or whatever your favorite restaurant) to nourish himself. First: eating out is expensive. Second: being in control of your health is easier when you control the ingredients you consume. Third: It’s not fair to put the sole onus of preparing most meals on your spouse unless that is your agreement, and even if it is, an occasional break is nice.
We are here for a reason. When we determine what the reason is, we have every obligation to fulfil that promise you made with whatever spiritual being you ascribe to. I believe that we all have an artistic gift, whether it’s music, writing, dance, or paint. For some, it’s about creating an empire, a legacy, something to pass on. Whatever it is, identify your calling and then go for it. Make it happen on some level until you can bring it to fruition. I will never forget the moment I knew that I was destined to write. It was years ago…and it came in the form of a dream that I’ll never forget. I know that if I can help one person through my words, I’ve succeeded. Same for you, find that passion and share it with the world. Later, I decided to coach and help other people achieve their full potential.
So, there you have it, my advice. Leave your opinions in the comments!