I don’t have a BFF (best friend forever). Sure, I have good friends, confidants, acquaintances, and three sisters even, and I know who my go to person is based on what I’m going through. Break-ups, good news, bad news, job stuff, humor… there’s a friend for that. When my daughter asked, “Mom, who’s your best friend?” and I was stumped.
A best friend is that person who knows you best:
- All your secrets
- Your likes and dislikes
- What makes you smile
- What triggers you (and they avoid the them)
- They know “the look” that tells them that you had a good or bad day
- They know how to listen with intent (and silence) while you vent
The biggest and best thing about a best friend is that they don’t judge you. Our time together is a judgement free and honest-forward zone. We get to be us without apology, and there’s a sense of safety there. She or he listens with an empathetic ear, and perhaps helps me devise a plan to get my favorite earrings back from an ex. So, while I have friends I can go to for anything and three sisters, there is no one person for everything , and thus, I can not designate one person as a best friend and my sisters don’t actually qualify…they judge.
At 40’ish, defined as someone between the ages of 35 and 53, I’m used to not having a best friend but rather FFs (fast friends). Maybe it’s the writer’s way as I enjoy venturing to places both new and old solo, with my BEF (best electronic friend) my Mac or Lenovo. In a pinch, paper and pen will always suffice.! While out, I watch how effortlessly conversations flow between BFFs and you can always tell. They speak as if there’s no one else around, and there’s lots for talking, laughter, touching and sometimes tears, especially women. Communication with a mere look, smile or nod that goes unnoticed by others around them. It’s like a ballet and sometimes, I think I’m missing out.
I vacillate between the idea of a BFF vs. FFs, but for now, I enjoy my FFs and keep the door open for the best should she or he happen along.