Acceptance is one of my “key words” that drive me in life. I discuss it in more detail in my book, Trusting the Tingles.
One lesson I’m often met with, is acceptance. It’s natural to want to control the outcome of things: interviews, sports, prepared meals, children…however, the truth is, you can prepare the best you can and perform to your best. What will happen, will and we have to accept the outcome.
I find that when one doesn’t accept “it”, but instead tries to fight or control the outcome of things, it usually results in disappointment/anger/frustration. When we can relax in the situation and watch it unfold, as it should or as it is divined, there’s a calmness to accepting the outcome.
This is not to say that you must be happy with the outcome, however, once you have it, you can then create an action plan to create the environment/results you want having learned from the event. For example: you have applied for a job and was granted an interview. The company declines your bid for the job. Your options:
· Get angry and write a nasty review
· Feel disappointment go into a slump
· Get feedback to better prepare for the next interview
In the third scenario, “you” have accepted the no and have now taken back the control of your career and have taken steps to understand how to create a different outcome. The one you want.
People are a different situation altogether. On a major level, we may have to accept people just for who they are. People will show/tell/demonstrate who they really are, and you don’t have to be a coach to read the signs. We’ve all Mr./Ms. Charming, only to awake from the spell to learn that they are not who we thought they were, but weren’t they who they said they were?
· Didn’t he tell you, “I’m a jerk…people don’t like me…”?
· Didn’t she treat the wait staff horribly because he or she over-peppered her entrée?
· Every time you met for lunch/dinner/etc., was your date compulsively late…with or without an apology?
· Did he constantly (and conveniently) “leave his wallet at home”, putting you in a position where you had to pay for the outing? (Honestly, this can happen once…never twice 😉)
He or she is showing you his or her life resume, and this is the truth that you must accept.
On another note we can overlook positive traits, too:
· Didn’t he open all your doors on your first, fourth and eighth date?
· Didn’t she send a text to let you know that she was running late or provide an ETA?
· Didn’t she interrupt your conversation to check on a stranger who was clearly struggling with something?
· Didn’t he pull over (safely) to kiss you hello/glad to see you/thank you for being here?
The key to acceptance is to keep vigilant, don’t ignore your feelings and the signs. Control what you can and let everything else go and learn from the situation/person. Decide on a best next plan of action and get to work!